Leading through times of Trauma and Tragedy: Steps on the Path from Well-Intentioned, to Real Support for our Teams
By Amanda Harper, Senior Talent Development Consultant
“It feels….performative”.
The word stopped me in my tracks. It is the exact opposite and last word that I or any other well-intentioned leader wants, or even expects, to hear in connection to their efforts to support during a time of tragedy, trauma, or any other opportunity to use compassion in their organization. It was 2020, and the young Black man across from me, who had reported to me for years and who was an experienced training leader in our organization, was telling me that the training we were rushing out to our teams, meant to address, what we had called, Unconscious Bias, was in his eyes - “performative". Ouch. What he was saying in that word, is that our energy was misdirected; that it was distracting from real support and solutions, and even worse, could be more harmful than good.
If you thought the wind was taken out of my sails in that moment, you should have seen him. He looked exhausted. We as a community and country had witnessed the murder of George Floyd, just months before Breonna Taylor and Ahmud Arbery. We were angry and heartbroken at the racial injustice and violence that seemed everywhere, and, in case anyone forgot, California was on fire and we were in the middle of the pandemic with no end in sight. But whatever I was feeling, my rage - my sadness, could not and did not match his as a Black man. On top of that, he was being asked to facilitate "Unconscious Bias" - a mandatory training that now felt like an ineffective gesture, a home made badge to say that we as a company had “acted”? That we had done our part? All of a sudden, "well-intentioned" just didn't feel like it cut it.
“Can’t we actually do something?”, he asked as I stared at him. He was right. We had proposed a surface level solution that we hoped would indicate support, rather than directly provide it. It was a learning moment for me as a leader and a practitioner, and one I still think about today. It occurred to me that we had made the mistake because we had not followed the steps we would in almost any other people or business problem. It raised some challenging questions for me. Had the elephant in the room scared us into acting without our normal strategic thought? Did we not conduct a comprehensive learning needs analysis because the questions that needed asking were hard to ask? Was it because the stakes were so emotionally high that we were playing small, afraid to fail? None of these reasons seemed valid to me, and his words sent me on a path to learn and lean in on a space where I truly believe we as leaders are needed most - supporting our teams in times of trauma and tragedy.
There is a lot to discover, and while no size fits all, I’d like to share three areas to consider in your own organization if you’re ready to be that support.
1. Top down, Bottom Up Dialogue allows Compassion to take place
Leaders should not be silent in times of tragedy, and they need to listen, too. Don’t have the answers? I’ve learned to be at peace with that and use my voice to ask questions and allow those who do have the answers, or who are directly affected, to speak and direct solutions. Bottom line - you are a model as a leader, your making your own vulnerability and humanity a part of your work environment are examples for others to do the same. Your own employee resource groups are great places to begin, and where I wish we had begun in the example I shared. The Compassion Lab, a group of organizational researchers and scholars who’s research shows that organizations play a part in enabling or hindering healing after traumatic events, actually provide tools to measure whether and to what extent we have fostered a culture of compassion in our workplaces, and their work is worth exploring if you find yourself guessing as to whether the structures, practices, and routines at your own organization enable compassion and conversation.
2. Mitigate Stress and Burnout
We are living in times where it feels as though we are picking up pieces from one heartbreaking event, as tragedy strikes again. We are not ok. Organizations must make efforts to increase flexibility in work and time off or face the truth that teams will not only be at odds with their best selves and best work, but they might just leave (“Great Resignation” ring a bell?). A 2022 Harris Poll study published in Fortune showed that 67% of workers said unlimited time off was a benefit that mattered most to them, and that 81% wanted a more flexible work schedule (Leonhardt, 2022). When you consider that even one extra day of paid time off is likely, longterm, one of the least costly investments that could be made in an employee, compared to events, training, or even salary increase, and the ever-dreaded pizza party, it makes it pretty hard to ignore as a solution even when budget is a concern.
3. Action by way of Resources and Accommodation
We are in a position to support our teams through resources that can act as a lifeline, and when even when not directly supporting, we can create a space for employees to support each other. Ask yourself how what we’re experiencing as a community, as a country, as a globe, might impact the people you lead. Could you be more flexible in the face of rising gas prices and inflation, when budgets are stretched more than ever before? HR organizations around the country have upped their flex spend account options in the wake of Roe vs Wade’s overturn as a no questions asked way to support those who are seeking health care options and may need to travel to find them, a slack channel for parents who need baby formula in areas where there was none, let other employees who saw it at their grocery store purchase it and send support.
There is more and tougher work to be done. However, my hope is that next time we are tempted to hide behind something that skims the surface of true support, a logo-change or a training that checks the boxes we assume matter, I hope we don’t shy away from that tough work and the learning that it takes to truly lead in times that are most trying for us all - times of tragedy and trauma. In the words of my old team member and friend, “can’t we actually do something?”.
Sources
Leonhardt, M. (2022). Employers are Upping Pay and Benefits to Keep Workers from Resigning. Fortune. Retrieved from https://fortune.com/2022/02/23/employers-increasing-pay-benefits-workers/